THE SUNDAY BEFORE SURGERY
It was the Sunday before the surgery to remove the three, stage four tumors that were eating my face off, from the inside out.
My wife, Sharon, came in and asked me if I was going to go to morning worship. I told her no. I was feeling horrible but didn't want her to know how bad it was or she would have stayed home. She needed what the service would give her that day, I knew it. We were both going through this fight with cancer. I was faithful to attend even though there were many times that I had to go to the back pew and lie down, or go out to the restroom because my nose would be pouring blood, or the headache would become overwhelming.
Many people told me that my faithfulness inspired them. They said they would sometimes miss services because they were just tired, or maybe have a stuffy nose. They noticed that I still came, to almost all services, with cancer literally eating the inside of my face. I didn't go because of their praise. I went to get the emotional and spiritual strength I needed to continue the fight against this cancer and to encourage others.
This Sunday was like no other!
Jesus felt the weight of our sins while he hung on the cross. I felt the emotional weight of the upcoming surgery in my mind as I lay in my bed. I felt the weight of the surgery in my body and in my thoughts.
"I am going to lose my face and part of my brain in just four days!!!" While lying in bed, I was in so much physical and mental torment that I thought I was going to go crazy.
Sharon prayed for me, kissed me goodbye and left in the car that Mike and Susan Yates were letting us borrow for our trips to and from Atlanta. We had a car but it wasn't dependable for trips.
Once she left, I began to cry out to the Lord. I told him that I would be good. And, like a child trying to get out of a punishment, I promised him that I would be a good boy, Lord, just please deliver me from this! I was in such mental anguish! I cannot describe the torment I felt, I just don't know the right words to describe THAT kind of pain.
I said, "Your Word says that you'll never leave or forsake me, I need to know you're here! Your Word tells me that you love me more than any earthly person can love me, Lord I need to know you love me! Put your arms around me Lord, I need to feel your love today Lord!"
I was having horrible mental pictures of how I was going to look. The Doctors had told me that I was going to lose my forehead, my nose, upper palate, part of my brain, the center of my face, 16 lymph nodes and now they were saying that I was going to lose my left eye. Would I be able to see? Walk? Talk? "Oh Lord" I cried out, " I need you to hold me today, this is too much for me!" Would my wife stay with me? Would my children and grandchildren want to see me? Would my family and friends ever want to be around me? "Oh, God, I need you to love me today! Hold me! I need you Lord!"
At this time, my nose was so swollen and would crack and ooze even when I didn't have to touch it! It had a terrible odor and hurt so badly. Several times a day I had to use tweezers to pull out huge chucks of chewed bone and flesh. We were asked by Emory to keep this in a jar of formaldehyde for them to study, since this cancer was/is so rare.
The cancer was causing tremendous headaches. There were times I thought my head was going to explode from the pain. It is hard to try to describe to you that pain with the words I know. The Dr. told Sharon that the only way he could explain it was for a person to hold their arm out and to let a dog chew it, inch by inch. He said, "See if a pain pill can help alleviate that kind of pain!"
I thought of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemene on that morning. How his sweat became as great drops of blood. I could almost hear his pain soaked voice as he asked, "Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me." I asked God, a lot, to let this cup pass from me! Also, I wasn't quite ready to say, "Nevertheless" like Jesus did!
I went to the restroom to dry my eyes. While looking in the mirror, I heard a voice whisper, "Go to church" The bible tells us that we will know his voice. I spoke back and said, "Lord, I'm a mess! My head is pounding, my body is so weak, I can barely walk, my mind is so drained I can hardly think clearly! The "voice" spoke again and said, "Go to church!" I looked at the clock, I had 10 minutes until church started. "How will I make it? I guess I can wash my hair and just throw something on." Yes, I was actually having a conversation with that voice!
I grabbed my towel and bent over the tub to wash my hair, the pain was even more overwhelming! Blood started to drip into the tub. I cried out in anguish, "Lord, I can't do this! I'm just too weak! This pain is too much for me" The Voice spoke again..."Go to church!" My shoulders straightened, I said, "Lord, you want me to go to church? I will go!" I was determined! Nothing could stop me now! I looked at the clock, only 10 minutes had passed, it felt like hours. I quickly got ready and headed out. I was going to church!
The closer I got to the church, the better I started to feel. The pain was becoming more tolerable. There were no close parking spots at the church so I parked in the far lot. As I walked toward the front door, I noticed my gait was gaining strength as each step brought me nearer to the building. A friend walked out the side door and I said, "Hey Randy, what's going on in there?" He told me that the Preacher was beginning his sermon. I walked in and sat down next to Sharon. She excitedly said, "You're here!" Her smile proved she was glad I made it! She held my left hand in both of hers.
The sermon was just for me that day! Every scripture was food for my soul. Every verse soothed my troubled spirit. I felt the peace that passes understanding overtake my thoughts and emotions. Without a doubt, I KNEW that no matter what happened, I was going to make it!
A song was sung when the alter call ended and the Pastor was getting ready for a baptizing. I decided to leave. I told Sharon I'd see her in a bit and got up to go. I took a couple steps and a little boy, about 3 years old, came over to me and gave me a hug. He said, "I love you Donnie" I told him that I loved him too. I took another step and another boy hugged me and told me the same thing. By the time I go to the back of the building, almost every child in the church had given me a hug, told me they loved me and that they were praying for me.
While driving home, I cried and thanked God for the good kids that attended our church. They accepted me and truly cared for me and I felt so grateful!
I got home and went into the apartment. I walked through the living room, kitchen, bedroom and then back to the restroom where I had heard the Holy Spirit telling me to go to church. I leaned over, looked into the mirror, just as I had earlier . I heard an excited whisper say, "Donnie, how did you like your hugs today?" WHEW!!!! I felt God's presence right there in that restroom! It seemed to flow over me as if being poured over and through me. The "Voice" spoke again, in the same excited whisper, "Donnie, how did you like your love today?" I felt an excitement like I had never felt before.
I had asked him to hold me, to put his arms around me and for him to love me. I asked him to do it earlier that day and He did!!!!!!
He hugged me and told me that he loved me through every child that got out of their seat and came to me. No one knew I was leaving except Sharon. I had to go to the restroom when my nose would bleed or when the pain would be unbearable, many, many times that year. Though the kids did hug me before and after each service, it was different this time. Church was not over. A song was being sung. It was very unusual. The guitar player, our friend Mike Yates said that it was beautiful to watch from the platform.
I firmly believe that God hugged me and told me that he loved me through each child that day. Nothing or no one can ever make me doubt the reality of that experience!
It was worth all of the pain that I had to suffer that morning to be able to tell you today that God answers prayer! No matter what you're facing, sickness, pain, disease, death, divorce, financial problems, loneliness, losing your face or anything else, God cares!!! He is real! He allows us to face and fight things in this life but he doesn't allow us to face or fight alone! He promises to go with us all the way, even till the end!
Donnie Fritts
It was the Sunday before the surgery to remove the three, stage four tumors that were eating my face off, from the inside out.
My wife, Sharon, came in and asked me if I was going to go to morning worship. I told her no. I was feeling horrible but didn't want her to know how bad it was or she would have stayed home. She needed what the service would give her that day, I knew it. We were both going through this fight with cancer. I was faithful to attend even though there were many times that I had to go to the back pew and lie down, or go out to the restroom because my nose would be pouring blood, or the headache would become overwhelming.
Many people told me that my faithfulness inspired them. They said they would sometimes miss services because they were just tired, or maybe have a stuffy nose. They noticed that I still came, to almost all services, with cancer literally eating the inside of my face. I didn't go because of their praise. I went to get the emotional and spiritual strength I needed to continue the fight against this cancer and to encourage others.
This Sunday was like no other!
Jesus felt the weight of our sins while he hung on the cross. I felt the emotional weight of the upcoming surgery in my mind as I lay in my bed. I felt the weight of the surgery in my body and in my thoughts.
"I am going to lose my face and part of my brain in just four days!!!" While lying in bed, I was in so much physical and mental torment that I thought I was going to go crazy.
Sharon prayed for me, kissed me goodbye and left in the car that Mike and Susan Yates were letting us borrow for our trips to and from Atlanta. We had a car but it wasn't dependable for trips.
Once she left, I began to cry out to the Lord. I told him that I would be good. And, like a child trying to get out of a punishment, I promised him that I would be a good boy, Lord, just please deliver me from this! I was in such mental anguish! I cannot describe the torment I felt, I just don't know the right words to describe THAT kind of pain.
I said, "Your Word says that you'll never leave or forsake me, I need to know you're here! Your Word tells me that you love me more than any earthly person can love me, Lord I need to know you love me! Put your arms around me Lord, I need to feel your love today Lord!"
I was having horrible mental pictures of how I was going to look. The Doctors had told me that I was going to lose my forehead, my nose, upper palate, part of my brain, the center of my face, 16 lymph nodes and now they were saying that I was going to lose my left eye. Would I be able to see? Walk? Talk? "Oh Lord" I cried out, " I need you to hold me today, this is too much for me!" Would my wife stay with me? Would my children and grandchildren want to see me? Would my family and friends ever want to be around me? "Oh, God, I need you to love me today! Hold me! I need you Lord!"
At this time, my nose was so swollen and would crack and ooze even when I didn't have to touch it! It had a terrible odor and hurt so badly. Several times a day I had to use tweezers to pull out huge chucks of chewed bone and flesh. We were asked by Emory to keep this in a jar of formaldehyde for them to study, since this cancer was/is so rare.
The cancer was causing tremendous headaches. There were times I thought my head was going to explode from the pain. It is hard to try to describe to you that pain with the words I know. The Dr. told Sharon that the only way he could explain it was for a person to hold their arm out and to let a dog chew it, inch by inch. He said, "See if a pain pill can help alleviate that kind of pain!"
I thought of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemene on that morning. How his sweat became as great drops of blood. I could almost hear his pain soaked voice as he asked, "Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me." I asked God, a lot, to let this cup pass from me! Also, I wasn't quite ready to say, "Nevertheless" like Jesus did!
I went to the restroom to dry my eyes. While looking in the mirror, I heard a voice whisper, "Go to church" The bible tells us that we will know his voice. I spoke back and said, "Lord, I'm a mess! My head is pounding, my body is so weak, I can barely walk, my mind is so drained I can hardly think clearly! The "voice" spoke again and said, "Go to church!" I looked at the clock, I had 10 minutes until church started. "How will I make it? I guess I can wash my hair and just throw something on." Yes, I was actually having a conversation with that voice!
I grabbed my towel and bent over the tub to wash my hair, the pain was even more overwhelming! Blood started to drip into the tub. I cried out in anguish, "Lord, I can't do this! I'm just too weak! This pain is too much for me" The Voice spoke again..."Go to church!" My shoulders straightened, I said, "Lord, you want me to go to church? I will go!" I was determined! Nothing could stop me now! I looked at the clock, only 10 minutes had passed, it felt like hours. I quickly got ready and headed out. I was going to church!
The closer I got to the church, the better I started to feel. The pain was becoming more tolerable. There were no close parking spots at the church so I parked in the far lot. As I walked toward the front door, I noticed my gait was gaining strength as each step brought me nearer to the building. A friend walked out the side door and I said, "Hey Randy, what's going on in there?" He told me that the Preacher was beginning his sermon. I walked in and sat down next to Sharon. She excitedly said, "You're here!" Her smile proved she was glad I made it! She held my left hand in both of hers.
The sermon was just for me that day! Every scripture was food for my soul. Every verse soothed my troubled spirit. I felt the peace that passes understanding overtake my thoughts and emotions. Without a doubt, I KNEW that no matter what happened, I was going to make it!
A song was sung when the alter call ended and the Pastor was getting ready for a baptizing. I decided to leave. I told Sharon I'd see her in a bit and got up to go. I took a couple steps and a little boy, about 3 years old, came over to me and gave me a hug. He said, "I love you Donnie" I told him that I loved him too. I took another step and another boy hugged me and told me the same thing. By the time I go to the back of the building, almost every child in the church had given me a hug, told me they loved me and that they were praying for me.
While driving home, I cried and thanked God for the good kids that attended our church. They accepted me and truly cared for me and I felt so grateful!
I got home and went into the apartment. I walked through the living room, kitchen, bedroom and then back to the restroom where I had heard the Holy Spirit telling me to go to church. I leaned over, looked into the mirror, just as I had earlier . I heard an excited whisper say, "Donnie, how did you like your hugs today?" WHEW!!!! I felt God's presence right there in that restroom! It seemed to flow over me as if being poured over and through me. The "Voice" spoke again, in the same excited whisper, "Donnie, how did you like your love today?" I felt an excitement like I had never felt before.
I had asked him to hold me, to put his arms around me and for him to love me. I asked him to do it earlier that day and He did!!!!!!
He hugged me and told me that he loved me through every child that got out of their seat and came to me. No one knew I was leaving except Sharon. I had to go to the restroom when my nose would bleed or when the pain would be unbearable, many, many times that year. Though the kids did hug me before and after each service, it was different this time. Church was not over. A song was being sung. It was very unusual. The guitar player, our friend Mike Yates said that it was beautiful to watch from the platform.
I firmly believe that God hugged me and told me that he loved me through each child that day. Nothing or no one can ever make me doubt the reality of that experience!
It was worth all of the pain that I had to suffer that morning to be able to tell you today that God answers prayer! No matter what you're facing, sickness, pain, disease, death, divorce, financial problems, loneliness, losing your face or anything else, God cares!!! He is real! He allows us to face and fight things in this life but he doesn't allow us to face or fight alone! He promises to go with us all the way, even till the end!
Donnie Fritts
2002- WHAT IS GOING ON?????
In February of 2002, I started experiencing a lot of pain in my face and teeth. A small knot started forming in the middle of my upper palate. I went to a dentist who told me I needed to have a tooth pulled. When I went for my appointment, the Dentist couldn't get the area to numb. He used as many shots as he felt was safe. I told him to just pull it. The pain was unimaginable! I had had teeth pulled before but never felt pain like that at a dentist's office.
Two weeks later the pain was agonizing! All of my top teeth were loose and getting more loose every day. I went back to the dentist. He said that the teeth were probably loose because of the other tooth being pulled. THAT had never happened before but he was the doctor. I asked him why I was hurting so badly, he said that he thought I had a sinus infection and referred me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. He did prescribe me enough pain medication for a couple days.
This started a journey from doctor to doctor to doctor for all of 2002.
There is no way to describe the pain I was feeling, to you. I cannot describe how it feels for cancer to chew up the bones, tissue and flesh in your face. It is indescribable! There were many days that I wandered if I might be losing my mind. The pain was more than I could handle and nothing was making it bearable!
My wife and I went to each appointment with hope that someone could tell me what was going on and be able to help me. I felt desperation more and more as each day passed. My wife felt helpless as I suffered in agony and she couldn't help ease the suffering. It has been a long, scary and painful time in our lives and we are scarred by it but not destroyed by it.
My wife and I started this journey, going from doctor to doctor in February of 2002. We have decided to show you the list of doctors we visited and tell you what their diagnosis was at each visit.
2/1/2002 - 2/14/02 - Dr Newborn - Pulled a tooth. Told me I had a sinus infection. Gave me prescription pain medications. Told me my loose teeth were due to the tooth being pulled.
3/ 02 - Called dentist several times mentioning teeth pain, he said it must be sinus related. I told him my teeth were all loose and he said that they would firm up soon. He said that he would set me up with an appointment at the ENT.
5/22/02 - 5/29/02 - Calhoun Urgent Care - Diagnosed with a sinus infection - Prescription for Steroids and pain meds. By now, my top teeth are so loose that they move when I speak, some forward, some backward. The pain is unimaginable.Five of my top front teeth would move every time I opened or closed my mouth. Dr didn't no why. Talking and chewing were extremely painful. WE went on a totally mashed and blended food diet. If I couldn't eat it, Sharon wouldn't. I appreciate the care she gave and gives to me. I tell her often that I could not have made it without her and that is the truth.
6/3/02 - 10/17/02 - Dr Link, ENT - He ordered a CT scan and said I had a sinus infection. He prescribed steroids and pain meds. I mentioned the knot in my upper palate. The Dr. wasn't very concerned with the knot at that time.
6/25/02 - 7/9/02 - Carolyn Wills RN,CS,FNT. She ordered a CT scan to prove I didn't "just" have a sinus infection. She didn't tell us right away, but she felt it was cancer and really wanted us to pursue the journey to find out what was wrong with me. She was the first person in this journey to give me hope. The CT scan was read by a doctor who said that it was a sinus infection and he prescribed steroids, antibiotics and pain meds. Carolyn was discouraged by the Dr's findings because she could tell that I was in excruciating pain and that something more than JUST a sinus infection was going on with me, she was limited as to what she could do but a friendship started that day and continues today.
9/11/02 - Dr Trimble ENT - Ordered a CT scan then told me I had cavities, was gritting my teeth, and had a sinus infection. I asked for pain medication and he said, "No, quit acting like a baby" and that I might be a drug addict for all he knew. He was very rude and seemed totally unconcerned. I thought that maybe I was just imagining the pain but didn't know how to wake up from the nightmare!
9/30/02 - Dr. Ledford PC - Took an x-ray of my neck and it showed an impacted wisdom tooth. He referred me to an oral surgeon.
10/7/02 - Dr. Chung DDS - He took x-rays of teeth. He told us that there was something in the roof of my mouth and that he would take it out that day if we could come up with $2905. in addition to the almost $300 we had just paid before going in. We called a credit line but were denied. All of our pay checks were going to rent and utilities and the rest were all spent on Dr visits. We did not have insurance. He refused to do the procedure. It turned out to be a good thing since he didn't know that there were 3 stage 4 tumors in there! Though we know that NOW, we were very hurt, scared and upset then!
10/17/02 - Dr Link ENT - Did a needle biopsy on the knot in upper palate. Went back in a few days later to get results. The Dr was called away due to a patient emergency. He called us and said the front teeth needed to be removed by an oral surgeon and that the biopsy was inconclusive.
11/5/02 - Dr. Stephens DMD-PC - Immediately referred us to another Dr. He felt it was cancer. He wouldn't remove the teeth or do the biopsy. He said he was afraid I would bleed to death. (it was raining, we were with Mike Yates who took us to the appointments that day. We were scared)
11/5/02 - 12/10/02 - 12/17/02 - 12/30/02 - 9/03 - 12/03 - Dr. George Lee - He pulled all of the front teeth. He tried to numb me but one half of my mouth would not numb. He apologized with every cut of the scalpel. He did the biopsy and cut out enough of the upper palate to make a v shape. He sent it off to two separate labs.
12/23/02 - I was at work. My wife wasn't scheduled to work that day so she and daughter, Sugi, were going shopping for stocking stuffers when Dr. Lee called. Dr. Lee asked her to sit down and told her that I had Ameloblastic Carcinoma and that it was a VERY aggressive cancer and it was bad. We went to his office to get more information and was referred to Emory hospital.
1/28/03 - Dr Moore ENT Ordered several scans, blood work, many tests. Told me that I was going to lose my forehead, part of frontal lobe, nose, upper palate, top lip, many facial bones, many lymph nodes and possibly my left eye. There would be skin graphs, plastic surgery and at least an 8 week stay in the hospital once I had the surgery. There would be radiation treatments and many reconstructive surgeries. The future sounded bleak and painful.
This started us on almost another year of monthly and sometimes weekly trips to Atlanta before the surgery in August of 2003.
Mike Yates is the man who made it possible for me to be writing this today. When my wife called and left a message for prayer, he called his own dentist and scheduled the appointment with Dr. Stephens. He hadn't been able to sleep for 3 days and felt that God wanted him to do something to help, so he did. We are ever thankful!
If you're going through something in your life and you know for certain that something is really wrong...keep telling your doctor. Find another doctor. Find someone who will listen. Keep searching! Never give up.
Donnie Fritts
In February of 2002, I started experiencing a lot of pain in my face and teeth. A small knot started forming in the middle of my upper palate. I went to a dentist who told me I needed to have a tooth pulled. When I went for my appointment, the Dentist couldn't get the area to numb. He used as many shots as he felt was safe. I told him to just pull it. The pain was unimaginable! I had had teeth pulled before but never felt pain like that at a dentist's office.
Two weeks later the pain was agonizing! All of my top teeth were loose and getting more loose every day. I went back to the dentist. He said that the teeth were probably loose because of the other tooth being pulled. THAT had never happened before but he was the doctor. I asked him why I was hurting so badly, he said that he thought I had a sinus infection and referred me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. He did prescribe me enough pain medication for a couple days.
This started a journey from doctor to doctor to doctor for all of 2002.
There is no way to describe the pain I was feeling, to you. I cannot describe how it feels for cancer to chew up the bones, tissue and flesh in your face. It is indescribable! There were many days that I wandered if I might be losing my mind. The pain was more than I could handle and nothing was making it bearable!
My wife and I went to each appointment with hope that someone could tell me what was going on and be able to help me. I felt desperation more and more as each day passed. My wife felt helpless as I suffered in agony and she couldn't help ease the suffering. It has been a long, scary and painful time in our lives and we are scarred by it but not destroyed by it.
My wife and I started this journey, going from doctor to doctor in February of 2002. We have decided to show you the list of doctors we visited and tell you what their diagnosis was at each visit.
2/1/2002 - 2/14/02 - Dr Newborn - Pulled a tooth. Told me I had a sinus infection. Gave me prescription pain medications. Told me my loose teeth were due to the tooth being pulled.
3/ 02 - Called dentist several times mentioning teeth pain, he said it must be sinus related. I told him my teeth were all loose and he said that they would firm up soon. He said that he would set me up with an appointment at the ENT.
5/22/02 - 5/29/02 - Calhoun Urgent Care - Diagnosed with a sinus infection - Prescription for Steroids and pain meds. By now, my top teeth are so loose that they move when I speak, some forward, some backward. The pain is unimaginable.Five of my top front teeth would move every time I opened or closed my mouth. Dr didn't no why. Talking and chewing were extremely painful. WE went on a totally mashed and blended food diet. If I couldn't eat it, Sharon wouldn't. I appreciate the care she gave and gives to me. I tell her often that I could not have made it without her and that is the truth.
6/3/02 - 10/17/02 - Dr Link, ENT - He ordered a CT scan and said I had a sinus infection. He prescribed steroids and pain meds. I mentioned the knot in my upper palate. The Dr. wasn't very concerned with the knot at that time.
6/25/02 - 7/9/02 - Carolyn Wills RN,CS,FNT. She ordered a CT scan to prove I didn't "just" have a sinus infection. She didn't tell us right away, but she felt it was cancer and really wanted us to pursue the journey to find out what was wrong with me. She was the first person in this journey to give me hope. The CT scan was read by a doctor who said that it was a sinus infection and he prescribed steroids, antibiotics and pain meds. Carolyn was discouraged by the Dr's findings because she could tell that I was in excruciating pain and that something more than JUST a sinus infection was going on with me, she was limited as to what she could do but a friendship started that day and continues today.
9/11/02 - Dr Trimble ENT - Ordered a CT scan then told me I had cavities, was gritting my teeth, and had a sinus infection. I asked for pain medication and he said, "No, quit acting like a baby" and that I might be a drug addict for all he knew. He was very rude and seemed totally unconcerned. I thought that maybe I was just imagining the pain but didn't know how to wake up from the nightmare!
9/30/02 - Dr. Ledford PC - Took an x-ray of my neck and it showed an impacted wisdom tooth. He referred me to an oral surgeon.
10/7/02 - Dr. Chung DDS - He took x-rays of teeth. He told us that there was something in the roof of my mouth and that he would take it out that day if we could come up with $2905. in addition to the almost $300 we had just paid before going in. We called a credit line but were denied. All of our pay checks were going to rent and utilities and the rest were all spent on Dr visits. We did not have insurance. He refused to do the procedure. It turned out to be a good thing since he didn't know that there were 3 stage 4 tumors in there! Though we know that NOW, we were very hurt, scared and upset then!
10/17/02 - Dr Link ENT - Did a needle biopsy on the knot in upper palate. Went back in a few days later to get results. The Dr was called away due to a patient emergency. He called us and said the front teeth needed to be removed by an oral surgeon and that the biopsy was inconclusive.
11/5/02 - Dr. Stephens DMD-PC - Immediately referred us to another Dr. He felt it was cancer. He wouldn't remove the teeth or do the biopsy. He said he was afraid I would bleed to death. (it was raining, we were with Mike Yates who took us to the appointments that day. We were scared)
11/5/02 - 12/10/02 - 12/17/02 - 12/30/02 - 9/03 - 12/03 - Dr. George Lee - He pulled all of the front teeth. He tried to numb me but one half of my mouth would not numb. He apologized with every cut of the scalpel. He did the biopsy and cut out enough of the upper palate to make a v shape. He sent it off to two separate labs.
12/23/02 - I was at work. My wife wasn't scheduled to work that day so she and daughter, Sugi, were going shopping for stocking stuffers when Dr. Lee called. Dr. Lee asked her to sit down and told her that I had Ameloblastic Carcinoma and that it was a VERY aggressive cancer and it was bad. We went to his office to get more information and was referred to Emory hospital.
1/28/03 - Dr Moore ENT Ordered several scans, blood work, many tests. Told me that I was going to lose my forehead, part of frontal lobe, nose, upper palate, top lip, many facial bones, many lymph nodes and possibly my left eye. There would be skin graphs, plastic surgery and at least an 8 week stay in the hospital once I had the surgery. There would be radiation treatments and many reconstructive surgeries. The future sounded bleak and painful.
This started us on almost another year of monthly and sometimes weekly trips to Atlanta before the surgery in August of 2003.
Mike Yates is the man who made it possible for me to be writing this today. When my wife called and left a message for prayer, he called his own dentist and scheduled the appointment with Dr. Stephens. He hadn't been able to sleep for 3 days and felt that God wanted him to do something to help, so he did. We are ever thankful!
If you're going through something in your life and you know for certain that something is really wrong...keep telling your doctor. Find another doctor. Find someone who will listen. Keep searching! Never give up.
Donnie Fritts
ONE MORE PIECE OF THE PUZZLE
Dr. Davis and the staff of the Emory department of Radiology Oncology had been administering pinpoint radiation to my face for 5 days a week. I was finally on my 6th and final week!
Sharon and I were both excited!
I felt like the radiation treatments had drained the life out of me. I had to muster every ounce of energy just to make it to the hospital for the treatments.
My tongue was cracked, dry and swollen. It was hard to swallow. It looked like chopped meat and felt like the skin of a lizard. It hurt continually, and even more and more as each week passed. My throat felt as if it were on fire and nothing soothed it. It was hard to swallow the liquids needed to nourish me. I had a feeding tube in my stomach but didn't want to need that. So, I drank the Ensure and Boost and all of the concoctions that Sharon blended up for me day and night. It was more painful than I can describe. To swallow and speak was difficult and only got worse as time went by.
By this time, my beard and hair had fallen out, all except for a little strip. Sharon shaved off that little "Mohawk" strip for me.
Now, I had no nose, no upper palate, no top lip and no hair.
I was worn out but determined to go through this with as good an attitude as I could have and not allow cancer and it's affects to totally get me down. I purposely worked on my attitude. It was very difficult. I felt horrible. I like to laugh, joke, have a good time and enjoy life as much as possible even when the going gets tough. BUT, this was hard to handle with a smile and a good attitude.
It was the Monday of my final week. Only four more treatments and we wouldn't have to go to Atlanta and stay at the Hope Lodge Cancer Center, each week.
The Hope Lodge is a wonderful place! The people we met were wonderful and many have become our friends for life. We became friends with several couples during our 6 week, Monday through Friday stay while I went through radiation. We drove to Atlanta on Mondays for my afternoon treatment then home after my morning treatment on Fridays. It was only an hour and a half ride, but it was exhausting for me, for us both.
Dr. Davis came into the examination room and told me that he was going to add another week of radiation. WHAT?!?! He told us that since the cancer was so aggressive and that not much was known about it that he just didn't want to take any chances. I was upset! I felt that his words knocked the wind out of my sails. My 'happy' attitude disappeared IMMEDIATELY. I was angry! I wanted to yell, I wanted to cry. As Sharon drove us back to the Hope Lodge I kept asking, "WHY??? WHY???" Nothing that Dr. Davis or Sharon said to me helped , I was angry. My hopes had been dashed and I was stuck enduring this for another week, as well as the added weeks of suffering once the treatment ended.
The room we stayed in had a small living room, a bedroom with 2 twin beds that we pushed together for our stay, and a bathroom. Sharon was praying for me in the living room while I went to the bedroom to pout. I wanted to go home. Sharon had everything packed and ready. I was more than ready. Sharon didn't complain but I know she was ready too!
As I was lying on the bed I started asking God, "Haven't I been through enough Lord? Haven't I had a pretty good attitude through all of this? Why God? WHY??? Oh, I kept on and on. Finally, after a few minutes of griping, I heard a stern voice speak to my spirit. "PATIENCE DONNIE!!!" Now, THAT got my attention immediately. I said, "Patience Lord? Haven't I been patient? I had a pretty good attitude most of the time, even when I felt so tired and weak? Lord, I don't understand." I heard Him speak to me again and said, "Donnie, look around this room." I looked around. He said, "Donnie, (He knows my name!) there are 34 patient rooms in this building . You can only see what is going on in this room. 'I' see what is going on in all 34 rooms, and beyond these walls, and beyond these walls, and beyond these walls..," Each time he said 'beyond these walls' I watched the room become a building, then a city, then the world, then the universe. I could actually see this with my eyes open!
I realized that HE is in control even when my life is completely out of control! He has been in control since time began. I didn't know the reason for having to stay another week, but HE did.
I knew that everything was going to be okay. I had to apologize to my wife for my bad attitude and tell her what God had spoken to me. It's not easy to go through something as traumatic as Ameloblastic carcinoma, losing a face and being who I had always been...but I was going to make it and be a blessing and a help to others on my journey.
I didn't know it that day but a young man named Terrence had been watching my wife and I for several weeks. He approached us while we were walking around. He said, "Donnie, I have been watching you . You are constantly praying for people, right on the spot , I often see you laughing and joking with everyone. You're always encouraging people. You sure do make people feel better. He said, "When I first got here, I stayed in my room all of the time. I was embarrassed because i had to wear a mask in public. Watching you and everyone's reaction to you has REALLY helped me and I want to thank you." WOW! People are watching us! Hey folks, people DO watch us. How we act and react to the situations we face.
During the remainder of that last week there were so many people who approached us, at the Hope Lodge, the hospital, the grocery store., many asked me why I was wearing a mask. I used every opportunity to tell them what we had been through and were going through with God's help.
I had LESS than a 2% chance of survival WITH the radical surgery. That I am alive is a miracle! The last week of radiation was another week to witness to people I would never see again. People who needed to know they could make it.
We saw many tears, hugged many necks, joined hands and prayed for so many people that week. More than in the 6 weeks prior!
Now, I know why God said, "Patience Donnie!!!"
Donnie Fritts
Dr. Davis and the staff of the Emory department of Radiology Oncology had been administering pinpoint radiation to my face for 5 days a week. I was finally on my 6th and final week!
Sharon and I were both excited!
I felt like the radiation treatments had drained the life out of me. I had to muster every ounce of energy just to make it to the hospital for the treatments.
My tongue was cracked, dry and swollen. It was hard to swallow. It looked like chopped meat and felt like the skin of a lizard. It hurt continually, and even more and more as each week passed. My throat felt as if it were on fire and nothing soothed it. It was hard to swallow the liquids needed to nourish me. I had a feeding tube in my stomach but didn't want to need that. So, I drank the Ensure and Boost and all of the concoctions that Sharon blended up for me day and night. It was more painful than I can describe. To swallow and speak was difficult and only got worse as time went by.
By this time, my beard and hair had fallen out, all except for a little strip. Sharon shaved off that little "Mohawk" strip for me.
Now, I had no nose, no upper palate, no top lip and no hair.
I was worn out but determined to go through this with as good an attitude as I could have and not allow cancer and it's affects to totally get me down. I purposely worked on my attitude. It was very difficult. I felt horrible. I like to laugh, joke, have a good time and enjoy life as much as possible even when the going gets tough. BUT, this was hard to handle with a smile and a good attitude.
It was the Monday of my final week. Only four more treatments and we wouldn't have to go to Atlanta and stay at the Hope Lodge Cancer Center, each week.
The Hope Lodge is a wonderful place! The people we met were wonderful and many have become our friends for life. We became friends with several couples during our 6 week, Monday through Friday stay while I went through radiation. We drove to Atlanta on Mondays for my afternoon treatment then home after my morning treatment on Fridays. It was only an hour and a half ride, but it was exhausting for me, for us both.
Dr. Davis came into the examination room and told me that he was going to add another week of radiation. WHAT?!?! He told us that since the cancer was so aggressive and that not much was known about it that he just didn't want to take any chances. I was upset! I felt that his words knocked the wind out of my sails. My 'happy' attitude disappeared IMMEDIATELY. I was angry! I wanted to yell, I wanted to cry. As Sharon drove us back to the Hope Lodge I kept asking, "WHY??? WHY???" Nothing that Dr. Davis or Sharon said to me helped , I was angry. My hopes had been dashed and I was stuck enduring this for another week, as well as the added weeks of suffering once the treatment ended.
The room we stayed in had a small living room, a bedroom with 2 twin beds that we pushed together for our stay, and a bathroom. Sharon was praying for me in the living room while I went to the bedroom to pout. I wanted to go home. Sharon had everything packed and ready. I was more than ready. Sharon didn't complain but I know she was ready too!
As I was lying on the bed I started asking God, "Haven't I been through enough Lord? Haven't I had a pretty good attitude through all of this? Why God? WHY??? Oh, I kept on and on. Finally, after a few minutes of griping, I heard a stern voice speak to my spirit. "PATIENCE DONNIE!!!" Now, THAT got my attention immediately. I said, "Patience Lord? Haven't I been patient? I had a pretty good attitude most of the time, even when I felt so tired and weak? Lord, I don't understand." I heard Him speak to me again and said, "Donnie, look around this room." I looked around. He said, "Donnie, (He knows my name!) there are 34 patient rooms in this building . You can only see what is going on in this room. 'I' see what is going on in all 34 rooms, and beyond these walls, and beyond these walls, and beyond these walls..," Each time he said 'beyond these walls' I watched the room become a building, then a city, then the world, then the universe. I could actually see this with my eyes open!
I realized that HE is in control even when my life is completely out of control! He has been in control since time began. I didn't know the reason for having to stay another week, but HE did.
I knew that everything was going to be okay. I had to apologize to my wife for my bad attitude and tell her what God had spoken to me. It's not easy to go through something as traumatic as Ameloblastic carcinoma, losing a face and being who I had always been...but I was going to make it and be a blessing and a help to others on my journey.
I didn't know it that day but a young man named Terrence had been watching my wife and I for several weeks. He approached us while we were walking around. He said, "Donnie, I have been watching you . You are constantly praying for people, right on the spot , I often see you laughing and joking with everyone. You're always encouraging people. You sure do make people feel better. He said, "When I first got here, I stayed in my room all of the time. I was embarrassed because i had to wear a mask in public. Watching you and everyone's reaction to you has REALLY helped me and I want to thank you." WOW! People are watching us! Hey folks, people DO watch us. How we act and react to the situations we face.
During the remainder of that last week there were so many people who approached us, at the Hope Lodge, the hospital, the grocery store., many asked me why I was wearing a mask. I used every opportunity to tell them what we had been through and were going through with God's help.
I had LESS than a 2% chance of survival WITH the radical surgery. That I am alive is a miracle! The last week of radiation was another week to witness to people I would never see again. People who needed to know they could make it.
We saw many tears, hugged many necks, joined hands and prayed for so many people that week. More than in the 6 weeks prior!
Now, I know why God said, "Patience Donnie!!!"
Donnie Fritts
RADIATION AND THE HOPE LODGE
Dr. Davis of the Emory Department of Radiation Oncology told my wife and I that I was to start my 6 weeks of radiation in September of 2003.
We met Martha Giardina on that day. She is an amazing lady! She has a kind and compassionate heart and we call her our friend!
We had heard about radiation but didn't really know that much about it. Martha told us that it would be physically and mentally draining and that there would be painful side effects. She suggested that we consider staying in Atlanta during the week and going home on weekends. On most days, it would only be about and hour and a half ride from where we lived in Calhoun, GA. But, on some days and at certain times of the day, it could take up to several hours. We couldn't afford to pay rent in Calhoun and get a room in Atlanta. Martha told us about the Hope Lodge and helped us submit the paperwork needed to apply . She told us that it is usually full as there were a limited number of rooms. It was a free service to those who were battling any form of cancer. That the rooms were nice, a living room, bedroom and a bathroom with a shower. There was a community kitchen. Everyone had a place of their own to store their foods and to prepare their meals. It sounded nice and we were grateful to be given a chance.
We were accepted right away and given a date to "check-in." We packed up enough clothes and food items to last for a week and headed out to Atlanta.
When we arrived at the Hope Lodge we were excited that we were going to be staying at such a nice place. It was beautiful! The grounds were well kept. The rocking chairs on the porches looked inviting. We felt calm and thankful.
We entered the building and Jude welcomed us. As she worked on getting us registered , she told us we could walk around. What a beautiful building. It looked like a good place to be while getting treatment.
A tall, dignified man approached my wife and said, "Young lady, would you like a cup of coffee?" That was our introduction to Jerry Young. When we first met him, we though he was the director of the Lodge. It turns out that he and his lovely wife, JoAnn were the Pastor's of the Rivermont Baptist church in Front Royal, VA. We were privileged to attend , speak and sing at a few of their services once reconstruction started. We met wonderful people that we consider close friends. We don't think God messed their car up just for us to meet them that day, but, we did meet them on that day because of the car not working right. Pastor Jerry asked my wife to sing, "Through it all" that evening for he and his wife, as well as a few others. That became a nightly habit. More songs were sung by she and others but that one was sung almost every day. It became a theme song for some of us.
We met Bill and Nancy Cowperthwaite at the Lodge. Nancy came to us and told us that we should look for the ex-CIA guy who now fixes faces. Sharon typed "My husband lost his nose to cancer and needs a new one made by CIA guy" into the google search bar . There were many variations to her search and after awhile, she found www.prosthesis.com. She contacted Mr. Robert Barron and asked him if he could help Donnie. He asked for professional pictures. Nancy and Bill had just been to a dinner for the folks who were going through radiation treatments at a different place than where Donnie was going. They met a photographer and after speaking to him, he agreed to do the pictures and Sharon cleaned his house as payment. The pictures were sent out right away.
Mr. Barron contacted Dr. Michael T. Singer and they decided that yes, they could and would take Donnie's case. Sharon was so excited as she printed out the email. It was raining that day. I saw that Nancy and Bill were in their car getting ready to leave. I ran out and asked them to roll down a window. When Nancy read the e-mail...we all yelled out our thanks and praise! We felt such hope. It was a good day. Nancy is the one who kept urging Sharon to find Mr. Barron. Because of her, we did!
Bill introduced me to Spider Solitaire and freed up time for Sharon to start reading the Mitford Series. It made our days seem to pass more quickly!
We met too many to mention but must mention Deb, Gene, Joshua and Jeremy Potter. Also, Hank and Pat Cloud, Ken and Sue Tonn. Doyle, Harold and Kay, Randy, Connie, Tom, Candy, Carla, Trent, Clara, Lucion, John and Sue, Terrence and all the rest. Friends .
We were all from very different backgrounds. We all had cancer in common. It was a nice place to stay during extremely difficult times for us all. The caregivers had to do so much, to endure so much, taking care of the patients. We all did it together.
Radiation was much harder than I thought it would be, more painful, but I made it.
On November 18th (the day after Sharon's birthday) we went for my last treatment. We said goodbye to all of our friends before we went to Emory. It was hard knowing we'd probably never see any of them again, but we were glad to be going home. (By the way, we have seen several of them since then!)
My wife celebrated her birthday on the 18th that year, instead of the 17th. She says that her gift was getting to go home.
We will always fondly remember our 7 week stay at the Hope Lodge.
Donnie Fritts
Dr. Davis of the Emory Department of Radiation Oncology told my wife and I that I was to start my 6 weeks of radiation in September of 2003.
We met Martha Giardina on that day. She is an amazing lady! She has a kind and compassionate heart and we call her our friend!
We had heard about radiation but didn't really know that much about it. Martha told us that it would be physically and mentally draining and that there would be painful side effects. She suggested that we consider staying in Atlanta during the week and going home on weekends. On most days, it would only be about and hour and a half ride from where we lived in Calhoun, GA. But, on some days and at certain times of the day, it could take up to several hours. We couldn't afford to pay rent in Calhoun and get a room in Atlanta. Martha told us about the Hope Lodge and helped us submit the paperwork needed to apply . She told us that it is usually full as there were a limited number of rooms. It was a free service to those who were battling any form of cancer. That the rooms were nice, a living room, bedroom and a bathroom with a shower. There was a community kitchen. Everyone had a place of their own to store their foods and to prepare their meals. It sounded nice and we were grateful to be given a chance.
We were accepted right away and given a date to "check-in." We packed up enough clothes and food items to last for a week and headed out to Atlanta.
When we arrived at the Hope Lodge we were excited that we were going to be staying at such a nice place. It was beautiful! The grounds were well kept. The rocking chairs on the porches looked inviting. We felt calm and thankful.
We entered the building and Jude welcomed us. As she worked on getting us registered , she told us we could walk around. What a beautiful building. It looked like a good place to be while getting treatment.
A tall, dignified man approached my wife and said, "Young lady, would you like a cup of coffee?" That was our introduction to Jerry Young. When we first met him, we though he was the director of the Lodge. It turns out that he and his lovely wife, JoAnn were the Pastor's of the Rivermont Baptist church in Front Royal, VA. We were privileged to attend , speak and sing at a few of their services once reconstruction started. We met wonderful people that we consider close friends. We don't think God messed their car up just for us to meet them that day, but, we did meet them on that day because of the car not working right. Pastor Jerry asked my wife to sing, "Through it all" that evening for he and his wife, as well as a few others. That became a nightly habit. More songs were sung by she and others but that one was sung almost every day. It became a theme song for some of us.
We met Bill and Nancy Cowperthwaite at the Lodge. Nancy came to us and told us that we should look for the ex-CIA guy who now fixes faces. Sharon typed "My husband lost his nose to cancer and needs a new one made by CIA guy" into the google search bar . There were many variations to her search and after awhile, she found www.prosthesis.com. She contacted Mr. Robert Barron and asked him if he could help Donnie. He asked for professional pictures. Nancy and Bill had just been to a dinner for the folks who were going through radiation treatments at a different place than where Donnie was going. They met a photographer and after speaking to him, he agreed to do the pictures and Sharon cleaned his house as payment. The pictures were sent out right away.
Mr. Barron contacted Dr. Michael T. Singer and they decided that yes, they could and would take Donnie's case. Sharon was so excited as she printed out the email. It was raining that day. I saw that Nancy and Bill were in their car getting ready to leave. I ran out and asked them to roll down a window. When Nancy read the e-mail...we all yelled out our thanks and praise! We felt such hope. It was a good day. Nancy is the one who kept urging Sharon to find Mr. Barron. Because of her, we did!
Bill introduced me to Spider Solitaire and freed up time for Sharon to start reading the Mitford Series. It made our days seem to pass more quickly!
We met too many to mention but must mention Deb, Gene, Joshua and Jeremy Potter. Also, Hank and Pat Cloud, Ken and Sue Tonn. Doyle, Harold and Kay, Randy, Connie, Tom, Candy, Carla, Trent, Clara, Lucion, John and Sue, Terrence and all the rest. Friends .
We were all from very different backgrounds. We all had cancer in common. It was a nice place to stay during extremely difficult times for us all. The caregivers had to do so much, to endure so much, taking care of the patients. We all did it together.
Radiation was much harder than I thought it would be, more painful, but I made it.
On November 18th (the day after Sharon's birthday) we went for my last treatment. We said goodbye to all of our friends before we went to Emory. It was hard knowing we'd probably never see any of them again, but we were glad to be going home. (By the way, we have seen several of them since then!)
My wife celebrated her birthday on the 18th that year, instead of the 17th. She says that her gift was getting to go home.
We will always fondly remember our 7 week stay at the Hope Lodge.
Donnie Fritts
Hello, I am Sharon, Donnies wife
Talking and writing about all we have faced with this cancer and all of the after effects of cancer treatments, has brought back so many memories.
Thoughts of fear, pain, sorrow and doubts as well as many, MANY good times.
Dealing with cancer from a caregivers point of view is much different than actually having cancer.
It is not at all without it's own horrible pain. In fact, the pain is almost unbearable at times.
To see someone you love in that much agony and not be able to help while they are begging for you to "DO SOMETHING!!!" That is torture!
I have often feel helpless, lonely and afraid.
I don't want to do the wrong thing and no one can tell me the right thing to do.
I pray a lot and God helps me every day.
Donnie is a very passionate, dramatic and sensitive person, even without the effects of cancer. Add that to all of the mental and physical pain and torture of all that cancer did to him, well, it makes my life busy and rarely easy.
In the beginning, I called the American Cancer Society and other Cancer centers asking for information about Ameloblastic Carcinoma and talked to someone almost daily asking, begging for information to help me help him. The cancer was too rare and they did not have information to help me then. There is still little information about this cancer. I am thankful that there is more than before and that there are now support groups to help. I am a mentor for several head and neck facial cancer support groups. Donnie has not been able to help with these programs as much as he would like but, until he can, I will.
Donnie and I decided that we would try to remember everything that we were facing so that we would be able to help someone that might go through something similar to what we were facing..., no one should have to go through what we did. We felt so isolated.
Donnie was able to sleep through a lot of his emotional and physical pain, I am grateful for that. I often wished I could have done the same.
Life with Donnie is usually quiet, HE is not boring... he sleeps a lot, mostly to avoid the day to day pain.
When he is awake and feeling good, he has to be doing something, going somewhere. Either way, I am usually alone. I am an introvert so I do not mind most of the alone time.
Watching Donnie go through the lifelong effects of a devastating cancer is harder, much harder, than you can imagine.
I do much more than schedule his appointments, take him to his appointments and be there for him. I do more than making sure he has his prescriptions filled on time and that he takes his medications at the right time of the day.
His life has changed tremendously.
He deals with depression, nothing in his life is as it was. Everything has changed.
On very bad days, all I can do is quote him scriptures and positive words of comfort as I hold him and tell him that I'm here. He sometimes deals with overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks.
He is NEVER without pain.
He was recently diagnosed with facial neuropathy due to the many surgeries. This is in addition to the other conditions he has. Chewing with his fingers for so many years caused his right arm to have tendonitis as well as bursitis. He also has a condition, not related to the cancer or it's effects, called, Dupuytren's Contracture. His right arm hurts a lot, he says it feels like the skin is.being scraped off. His vision is not great but, it is better than it was a couple years ago, sunshine hurts his eyes terribly.
His nerves are sometimes bad. He gets frustrated easily, at times.
He has neuropathy in his legs. The orthopedic doctor recently found three bulging discs in his neck and back and that he has severe degenerative disc disease.
I try hard to be strong for him and for the most part, I am. But, with his many physical and emotional problems, I have days when I get so concerned about him. Sometimes I think I might need a break. Thankfully, this doesn't happen very often. because whether I need a break or not, there are no breaks.
If I'm home, I am always listening for him to call out my name. If I am not at home, I am always ready to answer if he calls. I made that promise when I said, I do, during our wedding vows.....in sickness and in health. Prayers, Bible reading, breathing exercises, crying and faith, keep me going.
When needed, I use a tiny, one inch screwdriver to tighten the screws that are attached to the facial bar that is holding the upper palate in place.
There are dental implants embedded into Donnie's forehead, everything is mounted onto his forehead with the tiny screws. He had 9 implants, 5 have failed. It is very important to keep everything tightened so that Donnie doesn't have to suffer so much. His teeth have been giving him much trouble, which is normal, due to the amount of radiation he had
Donnie and I do not go out to eat, I do miss that sometimes. I actually miss it a lot. I hear of couples having date night every now and then....I bring food home but it is not the same. Thankfully I can sometimes go out with my daughter...again, it is not the same. I am not griping, just stating the facts.
The whole center of his face is man made. He cannot feel it. To eat comfortably, he removes the nose and that, he does at home. It is just too difficult to try to eat in public when he cannot feel if his mouth is drooling, or if the food is stuck to the mustache, or a number of other problems. When family members come in, they often want to go out. Donnie will sometimes go and sit but says it is hard because he is hungry. If he gives in and eats, the cleaning and pain makes him wish he hadn't, according to him.
Every day brings exhausting challenges and so far, I have been able to do what he has needed me to do. He is there for me as much as he can be.
I love Donnie and will continue to do whatever I can to make his life bearable. I am his wife as well as his caregiver. I am honored to hold those titles.